I've been rolling the idea of truth around in my head for the last month. I have been hesitant to write on it here, simply because I don't know if I even have a grasp on what it means to fully know the truth. Oftentimes, it seems that sin, situations, and circumstances make true things untrue. I've been looking at these hard times in a different light over the past year, only by God's grace. When something sad or difficult arises in my life or in the life of a dear friend, my old response was to ask God, "Why? Why do you allow things to be hard? To cause fear and doubt and worry?"
The answer I seemed to be getting was not a direct answer to my wrestling, but more about who God really is. What has been happening in these times of wrestling for me is a remembrance, a looking back- noticing, savoring, and remembering all the God has done in my life or in the lives of others. So undeserved, yet gracious, good, and loving all the same. Reading in scripture about God's dealings with his people and his character and attributes has also proved to be a balm for my spirit. A few days before my friend Lore posted this blog, I was thinking about how instrumental it has been to remind myself of what the truth is- about God, about me in Christ, about His kingdom.
When all the feelings and all the emotions threaten to derail me off my path of seeking Him and instead turn to questioning his motives and doubting his goodness- that is when I have to remember what he has done, and what his promises say he will continue to do. Preaching to myself has been instrumental to my peace this year, and my sure confidence that God will complete his works.
